They arrived on Thursday July 21^st, 2016 on Egypt Air after a perilous journey that began in Damascus, Syria. After living in Jordan for 3 ½ years as refugees, my adopted Syrian family was given a glimmer of hope with notification that they were on the list of Syrian refugees being welcomed into Canada in 2016. After several months of anxious waiting, piles of paperwork, medical tests and security checks, the family received their airline tickets to Toronto. A mom and dad and their two daughters, ages 6 and 11, had four suitcases that contained all their worldly goods. My resettlement group welcomed the family with rolled-up sleeves and open arms and they have not looked back. After one month in Canada, the dad proclaimed that it had been, “The best month of my life!”

They arrived in my life, just as my family was at a crossroads. My youngest child was about to leave for his first year at university and my middle child was in the thick of his time away at school. My eldest had just graduated, was starting her career and was eager to move into her own place as soon as possible. My husband and I were now empty nesters. As a former teacher, turned stay-at-home mom for the past 20 years, I had time on my hands and was looking for a purpose and a project. When I heard that one of my friends was leading a resettlement group, I immediately volunteered. A Syrian family needed my help and I needed a family to help.

It is said that it takes a village to raise a child; it also takes a village to welcome a refugee family. My resettlement group was an amazing team. In preparation for the family’s arrival, we each had a job and we all delivered. We reached out to family, friends and our community. We told our family’s story and asked for help. With donations, we furnished their apartment and filled their cupboards. We helped them with their banking, assisted them with paperwork, and took them to medical appointments. We enrolled the girls in school and became their emergency contacts. Most importantly, we attempted to fill the gap of the family and friends they had left behind and who are now scattered all over the world. As we got to know the family, close relationships were formed. We welcomed them into our homes and celebrated milestones with them.

There were some bumps in the road during their first year in Canada. Racing to catch the bus, the dad sprained his foot. All four needed extensive dental work and three needed glasses. One year ago, I took the girls skating, determined to help them embrace winter and take up a Canadian past time. The 6 year old was making tremendous progress when she caught an edge and fell. What at first appeared to be a minor incident turned into a trip to urgent care, and an x-ray that showed a spiral break to her right tibia. I was devastated that this happened on my watch! A friend of a friend provided the family with a small wheelchair, because the girl was too small for crutches. Our group came through, showering the young girl with love and attention, driving the girls to and from school and accompanying the mom and girl to numerous appointments at Sick Kids.

On the one-year anniversary of their arrival we got together to celebrate. The family, our team and friends they had made during their first year in Canada gathered to reflect on what a wonderful year it had been. We watched a slideshow of pictures from the year showing the many firsts the family had experienced: rowing a boat, learning to swim, dressing-up for Halloween, attending the Santa Claus parade, their first live Christmas tree, learning to skate and outings to Toronto’s landmarks. As privately sponsored refugees, their experience has been slightly easier than others. I cannot imagine the challenges of newcomer-refugees who arrive without a team to help them. Suddenly it was Month 13; our team had completed our organization’s mandate and fulfilled our commitment to the family. It was time to step aside and allow the family to make their way on their own.

I was also stepping aside within my own family, allowing my young adult children to make their own decisions, manage their own finances and trying not to worry when they take risks, stay out too late or make bad choices. After all, making mistakes is all part of growing up. Yet my children all know that their dad and I have their backs. We are a phone call away when they are stressed, have made a mistake or just need a hug. Our home is the soft landing spot for the kids to come back to whenever they want.

Our resettlement team felt like proud parents as we stepped aside and wished our newcomers well. This young couple has faced more challenges in their lives than most people face in a lifetime. They are resilient, industrious and optimistic. However, like our own young adult children finding their way in the world, they still need us! Maybe Month 13 was too soon to step aside if we really want to ensure the success of the Syrian newcomers in Canada. We all need support groups in our lives, especially when everyone you once knew lives halfway around the world. This couple’s parents are not around the corner when they have a crisis, need some advice or a helping hand? They cannot go home for dinner and a hug. They do not have grandparents who live near-by to help with babysitting, celebrate birthdays or share Sunday night dinner. They have come so far, yet they still have a ways to go and they still need moderate support.

In August, the family welcomed the newest addition to their household, a healthy baby boy. After losing so much, the arrival of a new family member was like a bright light at the end of a very dark tunnel. A smaller team emerged from the original resettlement group to lend a hand. When the parents were in the hospital, the girls were cared for, meals were made, baby supplies were gathered and a baby shower was planned to celebrate the new arrival.

Now, 20 months later, the girls are speaking English and starting to feel at home in Canada. They are enthusiastic and diligent students, making steady progress at school. Mom and dad can communicate in simple sentences, however reading and writing are still hard work. Navigating through online forms to apply for a birth certificate, applying for dental coverage or reading notes from school has been difficult. Dad is going to ESL classes every morning to improve his English and is pursuing his dream of becoming a barber every afternoon and evening. Their budget is tight and dad is away from the home a lot. Nevertheless, the girls are happy and the baby is thriving. Mom is housebound, nervous to take the baby out into the cold Canadian winter weather, yet she remains upbeat and positive. They are finding their way, and I am so proud of them.

I visit the family once a week to help the girls with their homework, visit with mom and deliver donations from my caring friends. Other members of our resettlement team are doing the same, trying to keep a connection and help out however possible. I remind them each visit that I am here for them, willing to help and wanting to stay connected. I get such pleasure from our visits and from helping them. I am not sure who has benefited more from our unique and unexpected relationship. I am confident that they will continue to flourish, make us proud and become contributing Canadian citizens. What an experience it has been!